An Ideal Parent Child Relationship

The most important and complex relationships in the world we live in today is that of a parent and child.   Three major personalities in this relationship are Father, Mother and the Child. Neither of these roles is interchangeable or replaceable.

“The hallmark of (the parental) relationship is the readily observable fact that this special adult is not interchangeable with others.”                        

                                          -Dr. Jack Shonkoff.

Let us see what exactly are the major issues, what possibly could be the solutions to those problems and what I would suggest to both the parents and the child.

The Problems Areas:

• Time Constrains:
  
   Most of the parents and child in today’s world do find time to talk or carry out family time together. This is one of the major causes of a disordered relationship between parents and children. Most of the time I’ve heard of jokes that could actually be reality where the mother calls her son for dinner on Facebook saying  ‘Dear Son, dinner is ready please come down to the dining room.’  Well yes this is a situation that will be faced in the future days. Parents working has been an issue of concern regarding spending quality time between parents and children.

• Generation Gap: I’ve often heard parents saying of the days they had spent going to school on naked feet, with on a pair of uniform, no bags, studying in dim candle lights. Well, all this is now an old radio and out of fashion in this world of i-phones and high speed. The major problems arise in lack of understanding due to the gap in the generations.

• Social:                                                                                                                                                                                                               Over protection of the child, no privacy and restricted in every step is all a trending issue these days especially with parents having only a single child. Negativity in approach and attitude is also been a matter of concern. Lack of appreciation has been another sphere of concern. Clash of parenting styles, Peer pressure which has been a route cause of most issues.  Larger families leads to larges problems in adjustments and has most of the times led to ego on the raise.  

• Emotional, Mental and Psychological: 
  
  Having children who are chronically ill or differently abled has always been a concern for the parents of these children. Undiagnosed psychological and developmental problems like that of autism also has been a concern to the parents. Taking care of such kids is a task that needs to be handled with care and concern. Domestic Violence at home has always affect the child in their approach and have also effected them emotionally and mentally. Abuses physically and psychologically have had concerns of their own that needs to be taken care of. Trauma is another aspect that has been a concern these days.

So, till now we have seen some of the major issues that affect the parent child relationship. What could possibly be the solution for these problems? Here are some of the solutions that could improve the relationship between a parent and child.

Solutions:

Spending quality time with family, this has been the want and need of every family globally. Something that has been forgotten in the attempt to earn the daily living wages and luxuries.  Appreciation is something that everyone looks upon after completing any work. This also helps in producing positivity in relationship and also a positivity in their attitude.

Anything over or too much is a problem, May it be education, love or even protection. Protecting a child is also the same. Protection to an extant is good but it shouldn’t be affecting the privacy of any individual or consuming someone’s space. Monitoring the child activities is a must which will help the parents to have a better understanding and also keep an observation on their precious child. Controlled behavior of both the parents and the child in terms of expressing their anger or temperament. Rewards and Punishments have been an outdated stuff and doesn’t  hold a key role in relationship bonding these days.

Suggestions for Bridging the Pitfalls:

Here are some suggestions that may help in bridging the gaps and pitfalls in the  bonding shared by the parent and child.

• ·       Family Outings:                 

This will always give the family members to have some quality time amongst them and also helps in building up a reliable relationship.

• ·       Family Sharing:

This is a time which will help the members to share their whole days experience. Sharing always reduces the worries helping  the member to know that there is someone to  share not only their good times but also with them in their bads.

• ·       Dining Together:

Something that needs to be followed in today’s busy scheduled casual world. This always gives time for family sharing too and the members in the house can be together. Yes togetherness a sign of unity.

• ·        Respect and Value Choices:

Never under estimate any individual, respecting their thoughts and valuing their choices is equally important. May it be a senior in the house of a younger lad. This lets know that there is a space for the member in the family and his views too are valued. It is a great feeling.

• ·     Family Prayer:

 As William Carrey quotes “ A family that prays together stays together.”  A family that is sound not only emotionally but also spiritually has a better bonding and evolution of its own.

In the days of speeding cars, 4G and unfinished business in work places, kids are always looking forward to spend quality time with their parents.  Parents have a lot of expectations from their kiddos in the competitive world. Keeping every happy is merely  an impossible task but having an ideal family is definitely need and want of the hour for everyone globally. 

May God help us to overcome all the issues and workout things differently to have a better bonding amongst our very own family members.